Im leaving for Paris in 7 hours for 2 months, with my boyfriend that ive been with for 10 months. I
Im taking with me 1 small suitcase weighing about 34lbs. and 1 back-pack with 3 books. “Middlesex” “Look at Me” and a book on Turkey.
I would’ve preferred to swallow 5 xanax today. But instead got 0. Therefore I am methodically monotonously typing this entry, using numbers and high pitched voices to calm myself down.
i LOVE DANNIJO!!!
These adorable sisters from Jacksonville came into my life almost a year ago and have since decorated me for everyday wear and events. Their jewelry is INCREDIBLE and unique and they are sure to be a household name one day.
ok. i hate being pessimistic, but it time to be honest here. im having a BAD DAY.
p.s. i dont have a phone anymore. dont ask.
via warmingglow.lg1x8.simplecdn.net
ok. im pretty sure no one cares what i think, but this is the dumbest idea bravo ever had.
who really wants to watch a bunch of awkward, zit-faced kids pretend to know what they’re doing in their mundane, boring teenage lives?! if i want that, ill go spy on a middle school p.e. field.
did they really think they could do a reality version of gossip girl? if so, i hope im not the red head.
(via shadowami)amandajean!!!
ADAM!!!!
why can’t i stop thinking about you? im supposed to see you in tampa soon. we’re going to laugh about 7th grade and high school and how you were the only kid smoking pot. reminisce about the time i tried to get you to ask me out and you replied with “do i have to?”. laugh about the time you bleached your hair and got a buzz cut and accidentally resembled sisqo. i decided to go on the phonetic spelling of your name and call you “buck a nin” a name that quickly caught on with other fellow 7th graders. for that, i do apologize. i’ll never forget when you politely insinuated that my mom was a little too eager to be involved in my life and career, and i realized that was all too true. im alarmed at your maturity and insight.
ill never forget your effortless, but yet somehow humble version of cool that i envied.i think that if our lives had journeyed more along the same paths, we would still be in touch.
running around our crazy, rule-free performing arts school with you and all the other kids i’ve loved, seems like some sort of utopia that im realizing will never happen again. stealing janitor’s golf carts, sneaking into the theater during class, terrorizing teachers with our new found audacity. these memories serve as happy thoughts. a time when there were no class systems. no poor, no rich, no black, no white. no sex, no money, and all the trust in the world for each other. plenty of acne and i recall a lot of braces, however.
there was nothing but a bunch of goofy naive kids on the precipice of adulthood. only….childhood got so much sweeter right before it ended. somewhere in my dim sub-conscience i always thought we’d revisit this together. and it brings me to a new level of sadness to accept that as truth.
i dont know why you killed yourself. i cant imagine why……for some reason, months later i still cant find peace with it. i miss you. Xxx
